I try not to complain toooooo much about diabetes (unless it’s to my family or boyfriend – sorry, you guys don’t count 😊) – yeh, we all know type 1 is annoying – but it’s annoying in the same way as traffic jams are, or my upstairs neighbour who thinks 8am on a Sunday morning is an appropriate time to start drilling – it’s a nuisance, but not the end of the world. But today, for the first time in a while my diabetes really pissed me off.
Long story short – I had a hypo. All in all, I’m pretty lucky (as far as ‘luck’ and ‘having hypos’ goes, of course…), as I usually feel my hypos coming on – I’ll be the one sweating profusely in a 0◦C air conditioned office, for example. Again – a bit of a nuisance, but with hypos being something you have pretty much on a daily basis, you learn to just deal with them – neck a coca cola, pop some energy tablets, and get on with your day.
But today’s hypo was rough. Not your bog standard ‘am I shaking because I’m just hungry (I’m always hungry) or is my blood a bit low?’ type hypo that’s fairly straightforward to ‘nip in the bud’ and treat. Nah. You know when someone’s talking to you, and you know that they’re speaking, but you have no idea what they’re saying? Or when you can’t focus on the room or keep your eyes open properly as they’re beginning to roll back in your head? Yeh, this was one of those stunners. A reallll beauty.
Now what got me about this one is that it stopped me. I’m usually very pro ‘don’t let T1 diabetes stop you from doing anything’ – but even still, there are some times when you physically cannot ignore the D anymore, and you’ve gotta just stop and stuff your face with whatever you can (see below: crumpled dairy milk wrapper).
I wasn’t doing anything particularly strenuous or hypo-inducing at the time (which made the whole thing even more frustrating) – I was actually in the middle of a meeting. Like any normal person, I hadn’t packed a hiking bag to attend a 30 min – 1 hour meeting one floor down from my desk – I’d just taken my laptop and not really thought anymore about it. But of course – OF COURRRRSE I was going to hypo not long after lunch when I least expected it – because – well, because – diabetes. I think it’s fair to say that for a good majority of the time, T1 does whatever it wants, whenever it wants – however much you try and control it or prepare for your blood sugar patterns, T1 has a sneaky old way of basically just screwing you over – que this hypo.
So there I was, minding my own business and listening to the talk, living life care free and ‘on the edge’ with my Freestyle Libre and energy tablets a whole floor away (wild), and it hit me. You know the drill – heart beats a bit faster, neck feels a bit clammy, hand starts to shake. It’s cool, I thought – the meeting won’t be much longer. 10 minutes later I was feeling pretty horrendous. Another 5-10 minutes in and it’s safe to say I didn’t really have a clue what was being discussed anymore. At this point I decided that the sugar-fast really needed to stop before I passed out in front of a room of people (who I’d say about half had no idea who I was, nor that I was diabetic) and cause a right scene. So I said my apologies and left – no big deal, no drama. But having the inability to simply sit through (and maybe, maybeeee even enjoy) a meeting really narked me off. I know, I know – why didn’t I take glucose? Why didn’t I take a hiking bag full of sweets, insulin and blood testing kits? Great question.
I just didn’t think I’d hypo. Which is the problem – what I think my body will do, and what my body actually does, are two completely different things. You can spend every minute of every day carb counting, insulin dose calculating, blood glucose testing and correcting, but the second you take your eye off the ball and ‘chill’, your body is free to do whatever the heck it likes. And does it care that you’re full from the massive piece of quiche you had at lunch, or the fact that you’re 99.9% sure you bolused correctly for it, or that for the first time that day you don’t have your glucose tablets with you? NAH. BODY = NOT BOTHERED.
So there. I hypoed. I felt like crap. I ate wayyyy more than the 15g carbs I was ‘supposed to’ to treat it, and couldn’t care less (rebel). And when I finally came round, I just felt annoyed that a) I hypo b) I can’t predict when I hypo, and c) that I had to rudely leave the meeting, all because my pancreas doesn’t know what to do with itself. Sigh.
ANYWAY. Onwards and upwards. As I said – it’s a nuisance and a pain, but it’s not the end of the world – I didn’t pass out, I’m fine now, and I did get a bag of BBQ Hula Hoops and a Dairy Milk out of it – so every cloud (although if we’re on the topic of rants, the vending machine had kept the chocolate wayyyy too cold for my liking…). Done. Rant over.